Little Pieces :)

2009-11-08T15:26:00.002+08:00

I sit here surrounded by piles of notes, waiting to be loved and touched. Yes, I will get to them as soon as possible. One exam down 2 more to go. Well, I don't want to say much about the first one. I think it was okie, but more importantly, I reliased that people around you are not exactly the people who you think they are.

My Journey

2009-09-03T21:01:00.002+08:00

Today, I was reminded after such a long time, on why I embarked on this journey. A jouney that many questioned, a journey that many discouraged and yet a journey many wanted, most important a journey that I wanted. A journey that I felt would mean a lot to me.

Yes, I was allowed to choose the journey I am on now but all of sudden I felt that I was drifting from my loved journey. But after today, I realised, how much this journey meant to me and that I will do what ever it takes to make this journey work.

I love what I do. Complaining about the workload, long classes, exams after exams, assignments one after the other is something we all do, I do it too. But deep down, at the end of the day, we do what is necessary to complete and get through everything. If it means sacrificing sleep and play, we still do it, I still to do it(still play more though). But yes, deep down, I honestly wouldn't trade my journey for anything. I love what I do, I really love what I do.

I realised, that any journey you take, there may be many detours, but simply things and gestures gets you back on track. Drifting or not, I feel I am back on my journey. A journey I always wanted. A journey that means the world to me.

Essence of the present

2009-08-01T17:15:00.003+08:00

Things change, people change, perceptions change, circumstances change. Maybe for the good, maybe not. This got me thinking, how much life has changed since I started medical school. New friends, new environment, staying away from home for the first time. I know how my dad felt allowing his little baby stay away. I turned 21 this year, and yet I am still his innocent "little"baby. I might not be a " little baby" anymore, but yes, still innocent.

As part of our assignment this year, all of us were attached to an organization where we had to do a community project as well as take part in their activities planned for us. Not getting any of my top three choices of placement, I was upset in the beginning. Its not a pleasant thing to know that people who submitted after you got their preferred choice but then again the selection is done by the computer. So, no way I can blame anyone. Learning how to live with I have was a better option. Then, after my first meeting with my group members, I realized, that I actually like my group and the place that I was attached to. 4 crazy, noisy and weird girls together sounded really fun. But the point here, these were my batch mates that I have known over a year and I never knew we could get along so well. These were the people that I used to just say hello or a smile when I bump into them along the corridors, but everything is so different now. Everyone have their own so called "gang" or group of friends that you are closed to, spend most of your time with and you really do not know about the rest. If not for my initially dreaded placement, I would not have these people as well as I do now.

I am enjoying my placement. Although, I don't look forward to waking up extra early every Thursday especially when you have 3 roommates who are still curled up in their beds, the time we spent and the activities done proves to be far more fulfilling. Talking to the clients there touring around the city to see how people live in third world class conditions and the stigma and judgment that people face in their daily life has changed my perception and outlook of life.

How lucky I am to have what I have. How lucky I am to be where I am today. And yet, many of us are not satisfied with what we have. Don't get me wrong, striving for the best is not wrong.Wanting to achieve more and to be the best is not wrong and that is what probably I would also do, but how many of us actually take time to appreciate what we have? When was the last time you sat and thought how lucky you are to have the basic needs of life, a roof over your head, 3 meals a day? When was the last time you spoke to a friend that helped you a long time ago, just to say hi? Said thank you to our parents for everything?

I saw smiles on faces of those who were having the free lunch knowing that they might not even get dinner or where to sleep at night. People who enjoyed the moment and not worried about what lies ahead.

Things may not always seem fantastic. Everyday would not be Sunday. Work for the best but take time to enjoy the current. The current may not superb but nothing guarantees the future would be too. Cherish the current and the future may seem more meaningful. :)

2009-07-01T17:39:00.004+08:00

Well, it has been more than a month since I turned 21 and yeah, this "still cute little" (I don't think I am cute) girl has turned 21.

People have constantly asked the "usual" questions: what is it like to be 21? Practically an adult now, can you make decisions?

What is it like to be 21 you ask, I say NO difference. I run the same routine as was when I was 20, I don't think I suddenly became mature over a year, I still behave like a child sometimes, talk like one too, never want to make my own decisions, still daddy's little girl, so yeah nothing has changed.

Some part of me hope somethings will change, but another likes the way things are at the moment. Then again, change is inevitable, it will happen soon. Am I ready? I am not sure, but I will, I hope someday. Turning 21 is not going to give me all the answers and maturity suddenly, its what I have learnt till I turned 21 will and what I am about to learn.

So to all those questions, I am still the way I am: still learning, still changing, still exploring:)

ps: I had a sms on my birthday from a friend: You are old enough to vote!
Old enough, yes; mature enough, I wonder!

2009-02-25T00:29:00.003+08:00

I have my bed and my teddy tonight, what else do I need for a good night sleep!

2 weeks away from home, I began to appreciate the wonders of being in the comfort of home and familiarity.

As I go through the pictures and the talk about my trip to another land, other details float in my mind.

The power of language. Speaking a language not known to others around you so that you can pass info the those who do understand. How my dad and I talked about so many things and people around us just eavesdrop although they don't understand a single word we say.

The some sign of happiness we get when we meet some one there from here, although we are surrounded by own relatives there.

The fact that we still have good and obedient drivers here!

How most of us don't even know how our neighbours look like.

:)

The journey

2009-02-02T23:50:00.002+08:00

I have always loved traveling by trains. By this, yes, I also mean the local public transport system trains. True, people have complained how bad the trains are at times, I have enjoyed most of my rides:)

The times where I have had random people smile at me, the times where I randomly play with kids next to me and have people stare at the title of the book that you're reading ( I had people trying to read the back cover too). The times where I get squashed between people due to my height, how some passengers scold other passengers who get into the train without letting others disembark first, how most people check their phones as soon as they get into the train and the random conversations I had.

But most of all, I enjoy just sitting and starring thorough the window. Looking through the clouds and the mind wanders to a far away land. The present does not matter anymore. Not even the people around you. I love this moments. It gives a certain pleasure that we tend to miss everyday. The only time, where you rule everything. There is no limitation what so ever.
And I thats what I did today!

A week ago..

2009-01-14T10:59:00.006+08:00

Exactly a week ago, the big day that we all have been waiting and planning for months finally came. The conference, EAMSC 2009! Months of planning and discussing over and over again the timetable, never getting past discussing Day 1, Day 1 was here. People were flying in from all over and we were still doing last minute preparations.

4 days of conference was pure fun. Meeting people of different culture, norms, values and principles. 200 over students coming from different backgrounds and sharing their experiences is one in a life time experience. What is bigger than that is the fact, that we organised the conference with no knowledge or little knowledge on how a conference was done was amazing. And today to look back, at what we have achieved and done, I think we all did a fantastic job and deserve a pat on our backs. Although there were minor glitches, on the whole the conference was a success. From where I stand, I realised at some point or rather, doing only what we have to do is not sufficient. Stepping up and helping others would mean a lot to them, I have learnt. And best of all, nothing beats working together as team. The sense of connectedness that was present was invaluable. Not just among other delegates, but also among us, from the same university. I got to know some of my seniors better and for the first time spoken to some. All this while, it was only a smile along the corridor or an hello, but working with them was a whole new experience. And to see everyone leave their differences behind and work hand in hand was amazing.

As for the conference, the lessons learnt was priceless. Well, it was not about learning on the illness per say, but more about how to make a change and creating awareness among public particularly youths on HIV/AIDS. The sessions were impactful and powerful. It really makes you want to do something- make a change. It gave me a whole new perspective on approaches in creating awareness. Besides that, I realized that, there is no point in waiting for others to make a change, it all starts within us. If I can take a small step and do something, someone else might follow suit-a snowball effect-will definitely have an impact on the community and society. As some of us were discussing the other day, our plans to put what was learnt during the conference to good use, many difference ideas came up. All I hope is, no matter where we are, all these ideas will be carried out successfully.

I have made friends from all over, got souvenirs, exchanged name cards and had lots of fun but most of all, I have learnt many new things that will change my values, principles, purpose, perception and the person I am. I have found the courage to make a change and definitely move on from there. Taking small steps.

On the whole, I never went to medical school thinking that I will be part of a conference let alone help organise it, but here I am. Much of things learnt during the conference is not something that we would get in a classroom environment everyday. It is not about what was being taught but more of what you feel of what was being taught. The experiences I gained will always be a part of me and who I am.

The most important lesson, no matter where you are: It's not the illness that kills, its the stigma!

Where I stand

2009-01-03T21:50:00.004+08:00

From where I stand, I see it differently, but it does not make any difference, no one will see what I see, because there are not standing where I am!

Its 2009!

2009-01-01T18:58:00.003+08:00

After days of countdown, its finally here...2009!

Good bye 2008.

Hope 2009 is filled with happiness, joy and laughter:)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It will come

2008-12-21T15:32:00.001+08:00

As Natasya asked: Do I only blog if I am bored? If that was true, you should know that I am really not bored now (judging from the number of posts lately). So, am I bored? Maybe...

Well, I only blog, when there is a need to, and mind you, this " need's " attendance has been bad lately. But, it is slowly making a come back... So wait...

And, I can't get this song out of my head...

Bubbly- Colbie Caillat

I've been awake for a while now

you've got me feelin like a child now

cause every time I see your bubbly face

I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes

and I crinkle my nose

where ever it goes I always know

that you make me smile

please stay for a while now

just take your time

where ever you go

The rain is fallin on my window pane

but we are hidin in a safer place

under covers stayin dry and warm

you give me feelins that I adore

It starts in my toes

make me crinkle my nose

where ever it goes

I always know

that you make me smile

please stay for a while now

just take your time

where ever you go

What am I gonna say

when you make me feel this way

I just........mmmmmm

It starts in my toes

make me crinkle my nose

where ever it goes

I always know

that you make me smile

please stay for a while now

just take your time

where ever you go

I've been asleep for a while now

You tucked me in just like a child now

Cause every time you hold me in your arms

I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul

And I lose all control

When you kiss my nose

The feelin shows

Cause you make me smile

Baby just take your time now

Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go

Where ever you go, I'll always know

Cause you make me smile here, just for a while

Alive.

2008-11-16T19:20:00.000+08:00

Finally.

I am back..

Holidays are boring...

Can't believe1 year of med school is done....Good times...So Fast...Time flies:)

Lack of Activity :)

2008-09-27T22:38:00.000+08:00

Well as the title says: I have not been blogging for a while now (almost 3 months I think).
Busy: thats the word. The other thing: time flies. Its as if the year just started, but would be October soon. That reminds me, exam would be soon.

I am bored........

2008-06-25T20:37:00.001+08:00

As the title says, I am BORED.

Seriously I feel 3 weeks of holiday is way too long. Only one week gone and I am already feeling really bored.

I am tired of visiting the same malls over and over again.

But then again, I should enjoy all the free time I have till I can.

Routine

2008-06-11T20:08:00.000+08:00

No matter how much we complain about certain things, yet we do it over and over again. Routine........

10%

2008-06-01T19:15:00.000+08:00

Well one semester is done. Not the exams part though. It feels like we just came back from transition camp but it's time for the sem 1 exams. If you are wandering why 10%, I just completed studying 10% of the 5 years. Since 10% went by fast, so I think 5 years would be fast too.

Had a needle prick injury on Tuesday. More like injuries as I pricked 2 fingers. Did not knew how that happened. Just hope everything will be fine on Tues for the OSCE.

Opposite

2008-05-07T20:08:00.000+08:00

It does not mean if I cry I am sad neither if I laugh, I am happy

You should know better...

2008-05-03T22:18:00.000+08:00

Why is it that some people underestimate someone else's understanding or ability just because of their age or looks?

Just because someone is young, it does not mean that they will not understand what you have to say. Maturity does not come with age.

When you think you know.......

2008-04-28T19:55:00.000+08:00

When you think you know something too well, things will always turn out the other way around.

Actually you don't know that well.

Updates

2008-04-11T19:20:00.000+08:00

Exams are over!!! And I have a week off. What more can I ask for? Not been updating a while. I have been busy with PCL, tutorials and yes exams. Classes finishes late now and by the time I reach home it's almost 7 plus. Sometimes I wonder if I spend more time in uni and on the road compared to my house. Some of my friends were suggesting we just bring our sleeping bags and stay on campus. Wonder if anyone would do that?

This morning as I was sitting in the lab, supposedly studying, suddenly I stared singing the Barney,I love u song, till someone told me another version of it which is bad for Barney and now I can't get the song out of my head and it was even ringing in my head during exam. Imagine trying to shade answers and the song keeps on ringing in your head. Bad.

Fire,Fire....No?

2008-03-28T23:06:00.000+08:00

Well, we had a fire drill today and we practically were "burning" standing under the sun. PCL was at 10.30 but at 9.50 the bell went off. Most of us did not even hear the bell as the lab was noisy. Then suddenly this announcement, "Due to emergency pls evacuate the building" went on and on over the speaker. Being good students, we were contemplating whether or not to carry our thinsg. Finally we left. Not knowing where to go, I just followed the crowd. No briefing nothing. Just stood under the sun for 15 min to take attendance. The whole finished 10 mins before PCL started. (Everyone was hoping the drill would be longer to avoid PCL).

The whole drill reminded me of what happened in my secondary school. During one of the drills, the fireman were there to see how fast we react and gather in case of a fire. And during the feedback session this was one of their observation: One teacher actually ran back into the class to get her hand bag. Imagine if it was a real fire?

Little doll

2008-03-26T19:28:00.000+08:00

We had CPR class the other day and since we would be tested in our OSCE on it, my friends and I decided to practice our techniques. The infant dummy really reminded me of the dolls that I used to play with when I was small.
Just look......

Except that this one is choking and has a tube in it. Enjoyed playing with it rather than "compressing" it. My friends call it "Laveena Jr." but I am thinking for a better name. Suggestions ?

Slow down......

2008-03-20T11:55:00.000+08:00

The early morning sky

The early birds that decided to jog.
Where am I?

Beautiful sunset

Lighthouse

The sea: Blue and clean

Some Pics from the camp.

Time is flying super fast these days. I feel like I just started classes and yet it is already 1 month and exams are soon. I should be studying : The most important word in that sentence "should".

I still have my PCL (patient centered learning) to do. After doing PBLs for months PCL seems almost the same. The only difference is that in PCL it concerns more about the patient ie. their characters and how life has changed because of their problems while in PBL we are more interested in the diagnosis. And my group have decided to split the learning issues so I feel like I am doing less.

Finally

2008-03-02T18:16:00.000+08:00

After days of bad internet connection, I am back. Feels so good to be back. I wonder if I can ever survive without internet connection for couple of days.

New uni life seems to be fun. Still miss my old friends though. Transition camp in PD was fun though tiring. Had to do early morning jogs up the hill and jungle trekking. But the jungle trekking was kinda of interesting. The beautiful scenery of the sea from the top of the lighthouse was breathtaking. Imagine seeing the Port Dickson sea clean and blue. Still waiting for the camp pictures from my friends.

Classes have started so it is back to books. Most of the days lectures start at 8. This means I have to wake up extra early to avoid the jam. I miss those days, where I can still sleep till 6.50 if classes were at 8.

3rd Day and still surviving

2008-02-20T14:49:00.001+08:00

It is my 3rd day in my new uni. How is life? OK I guess. Well, met few old friends and made some new ones too. But not everyone. Apparently there is about 90 plus of us in this batch. Hope to know everyone soon. We will be going on a transition camp from tomorrow till Saturday in PD. It is for us to know each other better. Can't wait for the camp. But I am praying there is no jungle trekking at night. Not that I hate jungle trekking but seriously at night? I still remember what happened when I went jungle trekking at night once during high school. It was secondary jungle full of durian trees and as we were walking one of the durian just fell right in front of a teacher. Imagine what will happen if it fell on her head? So pls not at night.

Orientation here is so much different. And I am missing my friends from IMU.

Btw, was listening to radio this morning while driving and they were discussing an interesting topic: Can guys have just friendship with a girl and not expect anything more?

Many called in to say that it is quite impossible while some said they could.

Personally, I think it is possible. What makes it impossible is that when people around you do not understand or view your close friendships differently. There many true friendships of opposite sex out there. So just ignore what others have to say and carry on as friends.

True friends are hard to come by. So if you have one, don't let others destroy it.

Looking forward for the camp tomorrow :)

The Other Side

2008-02-17T22:03:00.000+08:00

I was sitting in Mcd today waiting for my dad to come. Place was packed as usual. I have this "bad" habit of observing people when I have nothing to do. There was this couple with their kid. I guess the kid was probably 2 or 3. And guess what the mother was doing?

She was throwing all her used tissue paper on the floor. When the first one fell, I thought it was just accidental and she will pick it up but no she continued what she was doing. What is she trying to teach her child?

This reminded what happened in KFC . My friends and I were having lunch there couple months back and there was a family of 5 sitting next to us. After finishing their meal, the mother sent 3 of her kids to get straws from the counter. She sent each of them separately and each come back with about 15 to 20 straws. She then carefully wrapped them with the tissue paper and took them back home. I know the straws are free but 20 straws? Wonder what she wants to do with them.

Anyway, I had so many people asking me am I excited and ready for tomorrow. The truth : I am also not so sure.

Just hope everything will be fine.
Hope.......

Farewell...

2008-02-15T22:46:00.000+08:00

It's my last day in IMU. Woke up early as I was not able to sleep (this has been happening quite frequently this week). I wonder why?

I had a farewell lunch with my friends from IMU in Sri Petaling. If you guys happen to read this: THANK YOU very much not just for the lunch but everything. To Daphne, Guan Ming, Jian Ren, Kai Rou, Whei Ying, Jin Hui, Jeannie, Ee Laine, Qi Hong and Peggy, thank you for the lunch and the wonderful time we had talking about practically everything.

You guys have been wonderful friends. I think we practically knew each other for about 6 months or so now, but we have been very close like we have known each other for long. I will definitely miss you guys. I hope to find friends like you all in my new place. Hope our friendship will blossom and we should meet once in a while. I guess IMU and Monash is not that far apart. (According to Jin Hui he can reach within 3 minutes). That's cool but pls don't try it.

As I am writing this I am thinking of all the wonderful moments that we had together and my first moments in IMU. I still remember my first day in IMU. After the registration and collecting my lab coat ( I could use size S. I wonder how big L would be), we had the white coat ceremony where I sat alone wondering whether I will have close friends here. After that was the tour around IMU and back home. I was really thinking in the car, if I could ever fit in here. All my questions were answered the very next day. Orientation started and there I met my group mates. Trying to come with our group name ( Genesix : A fantastic name I feel), our group leader ( Jian Ren : A nice leader) and our cheers (we had good cheers because of our OO's). Everything just seemed to happen well. Orientation was probably my most memorable time in IMU. As Daphne said to me the other day : Orientation does wonders). Through this I became close to my group mates who in return turned into my close friends in IMU. Through them I made other new friends. Everything was like a snowball effect. Taking part and working together for all the events just brought us closer together.

Then there was the first lecture that I will never forget. I could barely understand what the lecturer was trying to say due to his accent. OMG. I was sitting there in LT2 and wondering what is going to happen. Thank god we did not have much of this lect in Sem 1. Then there was my first PBL: Allopecia. It was another wonderful group people. We were very noisy before, during and after PBL. I wonder what the other groups next to us might be thinking of us. After that this was practically my routine : lect, pbl mms, library ( sometimes) , cafe and back home. Then came my first exam, which I was studying very hard for till I heard that I made it through my interview. My friends from college told me to stop studying. Kezanne's exact words : Screw the test. I think I did n0t screw it badly but...

Next was my first CSU session. History taking. I really screwed mine. My "kind" SP was very quite and would not speak much. How I am supposed to ask questions when she was not keen on answering. Anyway still did it.
CSU was fun though with the bp, pulse and temp measurement and IM injection. Found out that my pressure was low. Quite ironic as I was stressed that day. My last few days here, I still attended lectures, pbl and lab cause I was too bored at home.

And today, I had to bid farewell to all. Not as if I am leaving the country like few of my batch mates, but I will be leaving 6 months of good friends and fond memories. Said all my good byes and hugged a few. Went down to the cafe to have my waffle ( Choc and cappuccino is the best). I might just go back for the waffle. Was sitting with Daphne and enjoying our waffles where more people came to say goodbye.

As I walked down to the car park, I was wondering what a wonderful time I had here. I came thinking how will I fit here and today I am proud to say I have done well. Thanks to all my good friends.

To all my friends above : Thank you once again. You have my life in IMU a very memorable one even for such a short period of time. Hope we can will keep in touch with each other and go out for lunch again. Good luck and take care. Will miss you guys.

To all my batch mates( that I know by name, person or both) : Good luck with all future your undertakings and all the best.

Good bye.......

I am here

2008-02-14T11:14:00.000+08:00

I am new here. Not that I am new to blogging, I have moved. Now I am wondering whether should I move all my old posts here. Should I or shall I start anew? A fresh start would be a good option but what about my "precious" old posts?

Finally, after much consideration I have decided to start fresh. Have not been a very regular blogger in my old place so hope the “new place” will attract me blog often. There are many things here that were not there. Anyway, let’s hope for the best.

It is not just moving my blog is a new beginning, I will be moving to a new uni as well this coming Monday. I will be leaving the current one today. So sad to leave, but………..Well, I will dedicate the next post to all my friends in IMU. So wait…

Happy belated Valentine’s Day to all. Hope everyone enjoyed themselves with their own type of celebration. Well for me, I ended up falling in “love” with parasites. I had a parasitology lab yesterday. 2 ½ hours spent looking at parasites was “fun”. There was one station with a worm picture ( can’t remember exactly which one) and its life cycle. I stared at the worm and the diagram blankly when suddenly the lab tech came to me and started explaining the diagram. And suddenly she said that in kids this worm can get into their lungs and come out through your nose! Omg. Worms coming out your nose. There goes my breakfast. Anyway, kids beware of worms and their eggs.

After the long and eye straining lab session, I bid farewell to the lab. I had few funny moments in this lab. I had my first lab session in IMU in this lab. This is where we were all first introduced to the soap dispenser that is controlled by your foot. Wow cool. I still remember some stepping the paddle over and over again with their feet for the soap. Some even washed their hands so many times just because they enjoyed playing the dispenser. But beware: too much of soap made their hands dry. So goodbye lab......